Fireflies and Flashlights

She was in the bathroom, putting on her makeup under the watchful eyes of her young granddaughter. After she applied her lipstick and started to leave, the little one said, "But, Gramma, you forgot to kiss the toilet paper good-bye!" She will probably never put lipstick on again without thinking about kissing the toilet paper good-bye.

My young grandson called the other day to wish me Happy Birthday. He asked me how old I was, and I told him, "62." He was quiet for a moment and then asked, "Did you start at 1?"

My grandson was visiting one day when he asked, "Grandma,do you know how you and God are alike?" I mentally polished my halo and I said, "No, how are we alike?" You're both old," he replied.

I didn't know if my granddaughter had learned her colors yet so I decided to test her. I would point out something and ask what color it was. She would tell me and was always correct. It was fun for me, so I continued. At last she headed for the door,saying, "Grandma, I think you should try to figure out some of these yourself!"

When my grandson Billy and I entered our vacation cabin, we kept the lights off until we were inside to keep from attracting pesky insects. Still, a few fireflies followed us in. Noticing them before I did, Billy whispered, "It's no use Grandpa. Now the mosquitoes are coming after us with flashlights."

When my grandson asked me how old I was, I teasingly replied,"I'm not sure." "Look in your underwear, Grandpa," he advised. "Mine says I'm four to six."

A nursery school teacher was delivering a station wagon full of kids home one day when a fire truck zoomed past. Sitting in the front seat of the truck was a Dalmatian dog. The children started discussing the dog's duties. "They use him to keep crowds back," said one child. "No," said another. "He's just for good luck." A third child brought the argument to a close. "They use the dogs," she said firmly, "to find the fire hydrants."